Friday, March 5, 2010

A mini-movie review: Alice In Wonderland (2010) - **Spoilers possible**

Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Director - Tim Burton
Writers - Linda Woolverton (screenplay) Lewis Carroll (books)
108 Min; PG
Alice - Mia Wasikowska
Mad Hatter - Johnny Depp
Red Queen - Helena Bonham Carter
White Queen - Anne Hathaway
Blue Caterpillar - Alan Rickman

"Off with their heads!!! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!" the Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) with the light bulb head screeches over and over and over and just when you think (hope!!) she has stopped, then over and over and over again throughout the fantasy based film Alice in Wonderland. I would have gladly accepted decapitation had I known for what I was in store.

Nothing in this film works with the small exception of the first 10 minutes of the reality based story - Everything past Alice falling down the rabbit hole is a letdown, especially and including Johnny Depp as the mad hatter and Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, both of whom decided to go all entertainingly-challenged on us. The familiar voice of Alan Rickman as the Blue Caterpillar is the only dimly bright spot in the piece.

I wonder who this film is targeted towards? Surely adults will not enjoy this darkened version with little wit and surely children will not enjoy the rabid beasts and lack of cuteness. Surely this film is a total failure and you know what my final verdict of the film is? Certainly, but don't call me surely.

* and 1/2 out of 5

Perhaps this is a 5 star movie in 3d but I will never know as I have retired the funky glasses forever and chose to dislike the regular old 2d version. I guess it is possible the good stuff happened during the 15 minutes I totally dozed off or the 10 minute ending I missed since I decided to simply cut my losses and walk out.

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